Very, Very Gay Relationships
Elijah + Dom
At left is Elijah with his rumoured gay lover, Dominic Monaghan -- also his costar in blockbuster film Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings.

Elijah has reported in the mainstream media that Dominic, a native of the United Kingdom, had taken up temporary residence with him at his home in Los Angeles. There is no way that single, non-related people could live in the same home and not be having sex. Therefore, Elijah is clearly gay.

Oh, and there was this one time that this guy said he saw Elijah at a gay bar. And this other time that this guy said that he saw Elijah and Dom holding hands.

CONCLUSION: Elijah and Dom are banging like rabbits. Elijah Wood is very, very gay.

Elijah + Franka

A more recent rumoured relationship has been one with Franka Potente, German star of Run Lola Run. The Huge Bitch, 7 years Elijah's senior, filmed the college drama Try Seventeen with Elijah and pop sensation Mandy Moore in Vancouver, BC during May and June 2002.

At first, a liaison between Elijah and Moore was reported. However, as the shooting went on, more was said regarding his relationship with Potente. The photos at left have been published in various publications.

Clearly, these shots were all for the movie, because Elijah is very clearly gay. Also, Franka is German and therefore is probably a man anyway. More likely, she's a beard, as Elijah doesn't want to appear gay for his young, young fans who are very impressionable and should not be exposed to sex of any kind at all. Well, except for maybe gay sex, because that's really the only kind of sex that's okay for Elijah to participate in.

Yes, these photos show intimate, heterosexual activity between Elijah Wood and Franka Potente. However, it is clear that this is either a) for the MOVIE or b) a ruse constructed by his publicist, and possibly Potente's as well, for Potente is a known Huge Bitch.

CONCLUSION: Elijah and Franka are not actually involved at all. Elijah Wood is very, very gay.

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